Friday, February 5, 2010
We Are the Champions
I'm just going to jump into this:
When a man comes, hundreds of thousands (possibly millions, I'm no physician) of sperm are shot from his penis into his partner's place. For the sake of this post, let's have my couple be a heterosexual couple, in which case these sperm are shooting into a vagina. True to the male psyche, all 100,000 (+) of these sperm have only one thing on their minds: scoring.
In most cases, JUST ONE sperm gets to swoon & fertilize the ONE egg, & from this a human life begins to form. This may be a big jump here, but what I'm getting at is that that ONE sperm that swam the fastest, that ONE sperm with the most drive--the one who wanted it the most, even that ONE sperm who planned his course on googlemaps ahead of time...
JUST THAT ONE SPERM joined with the egg and grew up to be YOU, Me, the WORLD. From this perspective, in essence, we are ALL the spawn of champions.
So then why do we ever feel inadequate?
For me, the source of my inadequacy all began with one 6 ft tall, Greek God of a man.
Let me back track; there's this tiny chocolate cake at Olive Garden--it's warm & filled with smooth molten chocolate served with warm cream and strawberrie...It is the most exquisite thing that has ever been in my mouth. Follow me...
To touch this man, to hold him, make love to him, kiss him, feel his body warmth next to me in bed, sometimes even just to look at him gives me the same sensation of taking that decadent first bite.
At any rate, I was sunk...and pretty much immediately at that. My inadequacy didn't stem from this fact, or even from the fact that I was dating someone who was coveted. It sprouted from the fact that his list of ex-girlfriends and prospects consisted largely of entertainers, models, and countless other atrociously beautiful women.
On top of that, he really didn't get my sense of humor so he wasn't immediately carried away with my charm.
-->The story of my Grecian God still persists in many exciting, if confusing and frustrating ways, but those are stories best saved for another time.<--
What I learned from all of this is that inadequacy leads to insecurity and while recognizing and admitting to faults is a wonderful/beautiful thing, insecurity is VERY UGLY. -->IT WILL GET YOU NO WHERE.
Moreover, I was failing to see something; my beautiful lover was casting a net and catching beautiful, talented, and educated women--somehow, his personal opinion of me landed me in the same net.
While I have to admit sometimes I'm prone to jealousy when I hear of the women's successes, being in the same net with them is not such a terrible thing. It's a HELL of a much smaller and more exclusive net than those cast by some of the other men I've dated. And Furthermore, while I'd hate to switch analogies on you, of all the sperm swimming towards him, for the time being, I was his champion--the one that swam faster, better, and stronger & got to bask in my victory.
Wait, it gets better:
I think we have to view life this way. No body wins, or loses for that matter, all the time. Only ONE sperm gets the egg and the odds against him are 100,000 (+) to 1!!! That means 99,999 sperm never make it. Sometimes we have to be those sperm. But that's not such a bad thing, right? Look at how many people (sperm?) stand beside us; we are rarely ever alone in our shortcomings or perceived failures.
I'd like to leave you with this thought from "Our Deepest Fear" by Marianne Williamson, taken from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who Am I To Be Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented, Fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Just something to chew on till next time.
Just added a picture of that cake I was talking about, FTW! haha