Tuesday, July 20, 2010


For those of you who may never visit College Station, Texas, I'll let you know up front this place is full of critters. Since moving here, I've seen live skunks, armadillos, and possums on a weekly basis. They are not even phased by my presence most of the time. Moving on...

So four years ago when I first moved to College Station, spiders scared me.

But I moved to a neighborhood pretty far from campus and then there were freaking spiders everywhere; scuttling across the floor, climbing on the walls, building little webs in the corners of every room... I got over the spider thing pretty quickly.

Not that spiders and I are best friends, but now I go to the restroom and pee with a spider sitting on its web lurking five inches away from my foot...and it really doesn't bother me.

Every so often, though, there is a spider that comes along that makes me go, "Holy Sh*t!" and break out in panic sweat. Once I reach that point, in my mind there is only one choice--it's either it or me! & usually, I'm somewhat fearful that the spider will prevail.

This has only happened a small handful of times while I've lived here;

1.) I pitched a tent in my backyard and then left it there for two weeks. I wasn't living in it or using it for anything, I was just too lazy to take it down. It was the summer so the bugs started migrating and setting up a bug eutopia inside the tent. When I realized this, I was also taking an entomology course so I got my bug catching supplies and went in there. There was this big black hairy spider eating a wasp, I kid you not--this really happened. I caught the spider in a jar, stuck a cotton ball soaked with nail polish remover in there and let them die. Then I used them for my final project; a bug display. I thought it was pretty neat that even in death, the spider clutched the wasp in its fangs. My professor thought I glued them like that. Anyway

2.) The second time I encountered a particulary scary eight-legged monster, Shakespeare was in the back yard so I had the back door open. I see a black mass the size of my hand come rushing into the room from the yard and settle behind my entertainment system. Thinking it was a rat, I grabbed my aluminum baseball bat and went looking for it. It turned out to be a spider that looked like it was on steriods. I hit the damn thing with the bat and even after being hit, it started jumping all over the place. I finally squished it but I was seriously concerned for a moment about Shakespeare and I's living situation.

3.) This past weekend. My dad is visiting and I walk to the back door to let Shakespeare out but freeze in my tracks. "Oh my God. OhmyGod. Shakespeare no!" and I pull Shakespeare back inside. My dad comes to the door and looks out, "What? I don't see anything." "You don't see that?" I point to a gigantic spider web  built between the corner of my house and the door frame with an equally gigantic spider just waiting to snatch up my small toy breed puppy as a snack. My dad nonchalantly walks back to my kitchen sink and grabs the spider killer spray. What ensued was pretty dramatic but my dad was victorious. After putting up quite the fight, the spider finally succumbed to sweet death and fell on my patio table. It's been out for days and I just brought myself to go look at it today.

Okay, seriously--have you ever seen anything so scary? Just looking at this makes me itch.

& this all happened on the same day I found out my dad could moon walk. But ya' know, hey, that's my dad: spider-hunter, moon-walker, all around bad ass.


  1. Your dad is such a bad ass. I'm jealous.

    That spider is PART PURPLE! I didn't even know that was POSSIBLE. And that actually is pretty neat about the spider eating the wasp. Do you have a picture of that?

  2. Lol thanks!

    ugh, that spider is disgusting. Unfortunately, I was between cameras at that time. :( For some reason, I was also not much of a picture-taker my sophomore year of college? Unless it's on a roll of film on a un-developed disposable somewhere which is entirely possible. haha