Sunday, August 8, 2010

Just Say No


Hello, Reader(s)...
{If any one is still reading after that ridiculously long hiatus.}

I wasn't writing because I was homeless...kinda. I hadn't moved into my new place & was drifting between places until I could move into my new place. For some reason, I hate blogging on other people's computers--it's like wearing some one else's underwear.

But anyway

A couple of weeks ago, packers came to my place in College Station to pack and move my stuff. My mom also showed up to help. There's two older gentlemen who show up and the man packing my kitchen has one gold tooth with a dice cut out on his cuspid. I'm looking at his teeth & he catches me staring. The only recovery I could think of that fast was, "Oh--you're name's Charles? That's my favorite name! I was reading your name tag & Not staring at your teeth." The guy, Charles, smiles and keeps working without saying anything. My mom is really old school and chivalrous so around noon she sent me to pick up lunch for everybody. On my way out, I stop and say to Charles, "Hey, I'm going to pick up some burgers. What do you want on yours?"
"A regular cheeseburger will do. How much do I owe you?"
"No, nothing. I've got it. It's just to say thanks for all the help."

& then I went & picked up lunch. I come home, hand out everybody's food and sit down with mine. Chummy Charles comes in and says to me, "So since you bought me lunch, can I buy you dinner?"

Reader(s), I have a confession to make. I suck at telling people no. I have to duck those guys at the mall who sell flat irons and manicure kits because if I even make eye contact, I end up walking away with some stupid crushed diamond nail file and a little less dignity.

So my natural response is "uuuuuhhh...sure."

Charles grins from eye to eye and walks back into my garage. At which point I run into my bedroom where my mom is taking down curtains and say, "Mom. I fucked up. I told the packing man he could take me out tonight. Please help me."

& all my mom can do is say, "Aww, well just be honest."

"Why didn't I think of that?" & so I walked back into the living room. Charles is crossing through with a box full of my study supplies and says, "so I checked the wrap-sheet and I believe yours is the number listed. So I can call you tonight."

I nervously laugh and go to the back yard. I text my friend Chad, "Please come over and pretend to be my boyfriend. I think I just set a date with the moving guy."

Chad: "Girls lie for the dumbest reasons. Just tell the truth. I'm at work. But hey, you really set a date? Where's he taking you?"

Me: "You're an ass hole & I hate you. Thanks for the advice."

The day drew to a close, Charles is climbing into the truck and says, "I'll call you later so we can meet up."
All I said was, "Oh, okay." And my fingers were crossed hoping he would forget or chicken out or die...

Well yeah, that finger crossing mumbo-jumbo didn't work. He started calling me at 8 and called 3 more times until I answered at 8:45.
Charles: "Hey, Lauren? It's Charles I'm going to the bar soon and was hoping I could pick you up."
Me: "Umm...I don't actually feel well. I think I'm kinda tired from all the moving. I'm just gonna stay in tonight but thanks."
Charles: "Oh, alright then. Talk later."

And we hung up. I was just beginning to rest easy when my phone rang again.

Charles: "Well, I'm heading up to Dallas in the morning so I wont be here and you're moving. I really think we should get together tonight."
Me: Sigh "Okay, Charles. The thing is...the thing is, I don't really feel like going out tonight. But also, I'm seeing someone and also, I didn't really wanna hang out with you, I just didn't know how to say no. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
Charles: "Oh, okay."

It was better when I told the truth, as much as I didn't want to, and it definitely would've been easier if I'd just said no to begin with instead of spending the night cringing everytime the phone rang.

And that is what I learned from moving. The end.

Honesty is the way, kids. Honesty is the way.

Oh & about the picture I attached to this post; ALWAYS say YES to Limon Cho--it makes the night that much more interesting...

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