Sunday, October 17, 2010


Scene: Having lunch with a good friend

Me: Okay, so you know how I brought up the sperm thing earlier?
[Note: the "sperm thing" is where I asked a nurse (said friend at lunch) whether sperm are independently living animals & then she said they're alive but don't have brains or eyes & I said "how do you know?" & she said "because we have microscopes." I also posted the same question on my medical school sister's facebook wall But anyway]
Her: Yeah
Me: Okay, so like if sperm are living and everything in our bodies is alive like sperm are alive, then what if like we are sperm?

Her: pushes piece of lettuce around on plate What?
Me: I'm not high. I'm saying like, what if we are cells or microscopic in the scope of something bigger? What if we're sperm and like our whole life and existence is brief and meaningless to something much bigger? What if we're bacteria or something and the whole world--the whole universe--is just a different person but it's like so big we can't even fathom...
Her: What?
Me: Okay, like, did you see Men In Black? Because I really feel like that would help. You know how the cat had a whole planet on his collar?
Her: Oh yeah, I saw that.
Me: So you know what I'm talking about then, right? Like what if we're on a cat's collar right now?
Her: I thought we were bacteria?
Me: No, we're sperm. But I'm saying like...what if we're just a small part of something huge?
Her: I really have to pee.
Me: Okay, let's get out of here.
We get up and walk to the car.
Inside car:
Me: obviously not able to let go Okay but like you get it right? Like you know how bacteria eat and reproduce and stuff and their lives are so short but we don't know what's going on among them. We don't know that they don't talk or fall in love or go shopping. They're so small that we might not be able to understand their lives. What if that's us?
Her: I really have to pee or like poop.
Me: We're close to your place. Okay like I saw this thing on the Discovery Channel or the History Channel or some shit, I dunno, but like scientists found these rocks in the desert with bacteria living in them--they were living off of the sodium in the rock. What if that's all we are? Bacteria living off of salt deposits in rocks in the desert? But like there's other rocks that have other bacteria that we don't even know about & there's the whole desert & the whole planet that the desert's on. You know, like, what if bacteria can't even comprehend that we exist? That could fucking be us, dude. That could be us.
Her: Poop.
Me: It's funny how I feel like I'm communicating this really deep and profound concept & all you think about it is "poop."
Her: I just really have to poop. I think it was all the sperm talk.


  1. Thanks for the comment! Um, I think to follow, you have to sign in and it's on the Blogger bar at the top. By the way, I love your writing style; it's very natural and still very clean at the same time (clean as in grammar and whatnot). Thanks for checking out World Destructor... maybe one of these days I'll pick the camera back up and make another one.

  2. Wow. This is such a stoner question hahaha. Have you seen Animal House? You know the scene where they're high in the professor's bathroom? This made me think of that.

    But it's a valid point. I have these discussions while sober all the time.

  3. @World Destructor: Thanks! & you def have to keep making them!

    @Lexa: haha, I swear I wasn't high. I've NEVER seen animal house but I need to! I keep hearing people reference it. lol