Friday, December 17, 2010

Broken Up About It

I'm not going to be all Emo & stuff because I totally don't believe in that.
& also, that's the behavior of a 22 year old & I'm 23 & 1/2 now, okay?
{Because at 22, being sad & vengeful over the internet was totally my thing. I invented the angry break up facebook status; but you know, it just wasn't a good color on me.}
I'm not going to lie though: I am sad.

& it's the weirdest stuff because most of the time, I'm cool.
But then like, it'll be the tiniest, most obscure thing that triggers a memory and it hurts for a minute.

There have been moments the last few days where I just want to rent Eat, Pray, Love and weep into my box of chocolates & then everytime Julia Roberts says something inspiring, I'll point a chocolatey finger at the screen and say, "That's right, Julia. You go, girl."
I totally want to be pathetic and spend some time over analyzing it all.
-->I'm dying to over analyze the shit out of us& it & all the dynamics of it all.

Instead, I'm just going to repost something I read that was spot on.

"Maybe--though I do not bleed--I am wounded,
along one of the rays of your life.
In the middle of the jungle the water stops me,
the rain that falls with its sky.

Then I touch the heart that fell, raining:
there I know it was your eyes
that pierced me, into my grief's vast hinterlands.
And only a shadow's whisper appears,

Who is it? Who is it?, but it has no name,
the leaf of dark water that patters
in the middle of the jungle, deaf along the paths:

so, my love, I knew that I was wounded,
and no one spoke there except the shadows,
the wandering night, the kiss of the rain."
--LXX, P. Neruda

& also, I'm going to recommend the following soundtrack:

Not because I'm depressed or anything but because it just generally is amazing.

I'm only 23 & I don't even know what's going to happen to me in the next 5 minutes so I'm not doubting my own resilience or anything, I'm just saying that right now I'm a little sad.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful beautiful poem. I hope you stop being sad soon =[