Thursday, December 9, 2010
Have your cake and eat it, too
Naturally, I threw a big stupid party for my birthday.
& I threw it over the summer.
For a smallish community like college station, that means that because there's nothing else to do, everyone who is in town will be attending.
It was the first and LAST party I ever threw.
It was a disaster.
The worst part was when I walked into my kitchen and noticed that someone had dumped my whole birthday cake into my fish tank...and killed my fish.
I didn't even get a piece of that cake before it was used to clog up my poor fish's gills. The bastards.
I was devastated.
Readers, I'm not really good at keeping things alive, per se.
Growing up, my parents wouldn't even let me have the baby dolls that pee and poop after you feed them because they thought it was too much of a responsibility for me.
Rightly so. In the fifth grade, my parents bought me a Tamagotchi only to find me shouting at it to stop crying at three a.m. a week later.
What I'm trying to say is that I tend to cherish anything that survives my care or lack thereof.
Notably, I've only got Shakespeare and one orchid plant.
& Shakespeare may not count since my mom is actually the one who's responsible when it comes to making sure he's properly vaccinated.
But the orchid plant, that is ALL ME, baby.
I forgot to mention, my fish's name was Trevor. Anyway, so Trevor died.
& I was really sad.
So I kicked everyone out of my place and whimpered pathetically in a corner holding a drinking glass with dead Trevor floating in it while my sorority sisters laughed and tried to calm me down.
Some one else had to flush him down the toilet for me.
It was really pathetic.
After I cleaned out my fish tank, I got really sad looking at it all empty.
So I bought a new betta fish.
His name was Derrick.
or Darren. I forget. It's been so long & he didn't really last.
But I guess I over did it.
Trying to fill the void Trevor left behind, I bought Darren/Derrick
& a mate for him,
& a small albino frog.
Because betta fish are aggressive; you're really not supposed to just have a male betta and a female together--she'll kill him when he tries to mate.
& the pet store guy suggested the frog.
I named the girl fish Beula.
and the frog was Christina.
& then I left for like an hour or two and came home to find that they'd all killed each other.
I wasn't emotionally attached so I flushed them all at the same time by myself.
& I moved my fish tank to the back yard so I wouldn't have to look at it.
I think I'm ready to love again.
It's been four years.