I was coming from the library and I didn't even notice Red walking past me.
"That's messed up that you can't even say hi."
I kept my eyes on her while I talked to him, "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm kinda in the middle of something."
I pulled him off to the side and pointed to a girl sitting alone in the courtyard, "See that girl? I'm going to hit on her right now."
Red was surprised. I don't blame him. It was Monday and just the Friday before I had gone out on a date with him--a terrible, insufferable first date. He was right to suspect that I was avoiding him; our date was THAT bad that I regretted ever going out with a guy from class.
"Yeah. I'm going to go talk to her. Go away."
"I didn't know you were..."
"Well, I guess I thought..."
"Oh, God, I'm not gay. I'm going to hit on her for Scully." <--Scully is a lesbian in our class. On that day in particular, she talked me into attending the Gay Law Student Alliance informational with her. Hoping to see to the girl in the court yard at the meeting, she came to class that Monday all dressed up; usually, she wore tee shirts and basketball shorts. Scully was still waiting for me in the library--I could see her watching me from the windows. I looked over at the girl in the court yard and noticed she was no longer alone. "Dammit, now there's people with her!"
"I've never hit on a girl before."
"I'm sure you'll do fine," Red said. I guess by this point the conversation had started to get weird for him, "I'm going to go now. I've got to study. Good luck with that." And he walked into the library.
Readers, I could tell you all about how I went up to the poor girl and failed miserably.
I could tell you how I told her she was pretty and then apologized for being awkward and then rambled about the meeting and asked if she was going.
I could even tell you how her friends laughed at me.
But I won't. It still hurts. She shut me down; she wasn't having it, & if she had any previous plans of going to the meeting, it's entirely possible and even likely that she didn't go JUST to avoid me.
It was THAT bad.
Needless to say, there are a few older students at my school who think I'm a super lame, no game having Lesbian.
This post sucks.
I'm really sorry.
You've no idea how many posts I've started the last few weeks and then abandoned because they're no good. Hopefully more interesting ideas/memories/things & stuff will come to me over the break.
I'm working on it.
For the mean time, this one is just to get back into the swing of posting.