Sunday, February 27, 2011

Life without Spectacles.

I've heard many compare falling in love to taking drugs.
Since my own experience with drugs and getting high is sparse and mostly inaccurate, I think a more proper description in my case would be wandering the planet without my glasses (or contacts, I guess).

For a long time, I was in denial that I even needed glasses.
But when I got them for the first time, I marvelled. I couldn't ever remember being able to see distinct feathers on a bird, or individual leaves on trees.
I didn't know how much shadows actually do resemble that which they shadow (because prior to glasses, all shadows just looked like dark blobs to me, moving with their host and the sun).

But falling in love is like walking through life without glasses.

For those of you with 20/20, it's more like trying on a pair of prescription lenses just to see how things look.
Wow, metaphors can be so subjective.

When you fall in love, everything blurs. It's harder to see the total object without squinting, and who would want to squint?
But after that initial fall, everything starts to clear up, become more defined.
You can see blades of grass and clover instead of pools of green.
You see the spectrum of colors in a single crow's feather.
You can see the bark on trees, peeling back, growing moss.

& you can see your object; their scars, their dimples, split ends.

Staying in love is seeing all of it, & it doesn't matter.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Struggle days

A personal theory of mine is if there's no one worth impressing around, there's no need to waste clean clothes or make up.

So naturally, when my older brother told me a bunch of his friends were coming over, I shrugged and did the polite thing by putting on pants.
Because, you know, before that moment, I was just wearing my designated sleeping/not leaving the apartment shirt and underwear.

I'd also just washed my super curly hair and was waiting for it to dry so I could straighten it.
This is the part where I sometimes curse the day I was born with a head full of curly hair.

I just recently cut bangs.
On a good day, I look like:
But, on a day when I've just washed my hair and it has NO curl taming product in it, whatsoever, I look a lot like:
That is an actual picture of me as an infant. Hair wise, not much has really changed.

On days when I'm forreal not trying to impress anyone, I also wear my super thick black lens prescription glasses. They're so big, when I look at maps I can see tiny people waving back at me. (Okay, I promise that's funny, you just have to think about it.)

So anyway, my brother's friends came over & while it was just the guys, it wasn't a big deal.
The boys laughed at my frizzy, unruly hair and my brother pet me before saying, "Aww, you look just like when we were little. Mom was always trying to give me an Elvis part."

But then, before I knew it, our apartment was full of girls.
Attractive 20 year old girls.

Lately, my 30 year old brother's been dating a girl about my age. They were set up by my brother's best friend who is ALSO dating a girl my age who's best friends with my brother's new girlfriend.
New girlfriend is used to seeing me on my struggle days--she's not MY girlfriend & therefore not worthy of make up or clothes. Sometimes when she comes over, I'm naked in my room.
But then the other girlfriend came over & she was like, "Hey gorgeous!" <--And YES, she was being sarcastic.
All I could do was say, "haha, you're so witty. I'm going back to my room."

But before I could retreat, this really cute girl visiting from out of town stood next me and asked her fiance if we looked alike. "Babe, we look alike, right? When she was 17, she used my ID to sneak into a bar!" This is a true story--the night my brother graduated from undergrad, she lent me her driver's license so I could go out and celebrate with my brother and be the DD. Her fiance kind of just stood there, not sure what to say. Before he could laugh, I murmured, "Today's not really...the best day for these types of comparisons. I don't usually look like this."

At that point, sufficiently embarrassed, I went to my room.

What I'm trying to say is a house full of people & struggle days don't mix.
So don't be like me.
Because a little bit of curl product, a different shirt, and some eyeliner really would have went far.

yeah.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Avoid Disappointment

 True to my very essence, this post is going to be published too late to do anyone any  immediate good.
This past week, I've been walking around thinking about exactly how to dispense all the invaluable knowledge I have pertaining to the do's and dont's of V-day.
To illustrate this point, I'd like to share with you a personal story from 2009. It probably goes without saying that dumping anyone on Valentine's day is a mistake. Trust me, it can wait. & definitely try to avoid situations where it's Valentine's day and you've flown some poor guy out to see you just before he deploys so you can dump him.
Because he'll start tripping balls and next thing you know, you're slapping this kid to get him to stop crying hysterically or even just stop throwing your furniture around. There's only one thing left after that: the call to your parents three hours later from the county jail asking them to come get you.
That happened to me. I'm not making it up.
Don't do it.

Okay, that was probably a bad example but I've got better ones.

If It's Complicated:
DON'T do anything creepy.
5 page love poems, giving of body parts/bottled bodily fluids or any combination of the two are a sure fire way to end something before it really gets going.
Actually, like, those things are probably always a bad idea.

DO
try a small gesture; dinner, a movie, small INEXPENSIVE tokens of gratitude.
The smaller & less expensive, the more light and casual you come across.
What WILL stick out is that you remembered.

If it's Unrequited:
DON'T text your love a photo of the shrine you have celebrating their existence.
Valentine's day 2010, I received said text; the guy was an old Freshman year of high school crush & sent me a text photo of every letter we every passed, every picture I ever gave him, taped to his wall like a big collage. I'm not going to lie, it was kind of freaky and more than enough to make me avoid his phone calls.
DON'T buy a gigantic, awkward gift. In the end, it's likely to get tossed or donated. & also, it's awkward.

DO try a small, sweet note.
Small like one or two sentences as in; "You've got a gorgeous smile. Happy Valentine's Day."

If You're two halves of a whole:
DON'T fail to acknowledge that it's Valentine's day.
I don't care what you're girlfriend or boyfriend says, they want and EXPECT you to acknowledge today.
DON'T ask your lover to spend big; it kind of make you seems like a tool.
DON'T let disappointment in a gift (or lack thereof) ruin the fact that today should be a celebration of what you share.

DO let your significant other know what your expectations are. If you want flowers, ask.
DO remember that today is NOT just about gifts, it's about love.
& if all else fails, just give Love.
I don't know a single girl who'd be disapointed to get a love letter/email (NO TEXTS) except selfish, immature little brats.

If you're Single:
DO remember that today is about love & love extends to all people. Furthermore, Love is easily demonstrated in the simplest ways.Today, I bought a vintage San Antonio Fiesta drinking glass for my brother from a thrift shop. He liked it a lot.
DO call, text, or email those who mean the most to you; one of my best friends sent me the funniest, greatest card for Valentine's day & it made me super happy. Also at lunch, my sweet friend, Prince bought chocolate covered strawberries for me and Krusty (another one of our friends) to share. What a doll. :)
DO treat yourself like you'd treat a lover today. Well, within limits.
-->When I'm in a relationship and in love, I wake up every morning with a single minded determination to do one thing that would make that person happy. If Whitney Houston was ever right about anything, it was that loving yourself is the greatest love of all. I actually don't even know if she said that but I seem to recall something similar...maybe. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I think that today of all days, you should celebrate being in love with yourself. Do whatever it is that makes you happy. Today, I thrifted and bought a miniature orchid (which I gave away, but still) and a set of gorgeous dishes with cherry blossoms printed on them. And also a vintage milk bottle that I plan to use as a vase.

I'm getting off course but you know...
love yourself, man.

Love yourself.

So like yeah.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bitter February

I have fully come to resent February.

I feel like everytime I turn on the computer, EHarmony is trying to remind me that I'm single & that if I'm cheap, I can just register with chemistry.com.

Is this all February means any more?

There's more to February than Valentines' Day.

In my opinion, Valentines' Day is just a depressing lunar eclipse over the sun that is Black History Month.

If February were a person, it would totally be that girl that doesn't know how to be on her own.
You know, that one girl.
That girl that posts on your facebook wall just to find ways of directing the conversation to her boyfriend.
& You're always kind of like, "Did you used to have a personality before this boyfriend? Or was that personality just the stuff you were pretending to like while you dated the guy before this one?"
Yeah, that girl.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
It's okay to like stuff that your boyfriend doesn't like/didn't introduce you to.
Seriously.
& also, I really don't care about your boyfriend...

What I'm saying is I'm at home studying because I can't goof off anymore at school and
February sucks.

& also, Valentine's Day is stupid.