Monday, February 14, 2011

Avoid Disappointment

 True to my very essence, this post is going to be published too late to do anyone any  immediate good.
This past week, I've been walking around thinking about exactly how to dispense all the invaluable knowledge I have pertaining to the do's and dont's of V-day.
To illustrate this point, I'd like to share with you a personal story from 2009. It probably goes without saying that dumping anyone on Valentine's day is a mistake. Trust me, it can wait. & definitely try to avoid situations where it's Valentine's day and you've flown some poor guy out to see you just before he deploys so you can dump him.
Because he'll start tripping balls and next thing you know, you're slapping this kid to get him to stop crying hysterically or even just stop throwing your furniture around. There's only one thing left after that: the call to your parents three hours later from the county jail asking them to come get you.
That happened to me. I'm not making it up.
Don't do it.

Okay, that was probably a bad example but I've got better ones.

If It's Complicated:
DON'T do anything creepy.
5 page love poems, giving of body parts/bottled bodily fluids or any combination of the two are a sure fire way to end something before it really gets going.
Actually, like, those things are probably always a bad idea.

DO
try a small gesture; dinner, a movie, small INEXPENSIVE tokens of gratitude.
The smaller & less expensive, the more light and casual you come across.
What WILL stick out is that you remembered.

If it's Unrequited:
DON'T text your love a photo of the shrine you have celebrating their existence.
Valentine's day 2010, I received said text; the guy was an old Freshman year of high school crush & sent me a text photo of every letter we every passed, every picture I ever gave him, taped to his wall like a big collage. I'm not going to lie, it was kind of freaky and more than enough to make me avoid his phone calls.
DON'T buy a gigantic, awkward gift. In the end, it's likely to get tossed or donated. & also, it's awkward.

DO try a small, sweet note.
Small like one or two sentences as in; "You've got a gorgeous smile. Happy Valentine's Day."

If You're two halves of a whole:
DON'T fail to acknowledge that it's Valentine's day.
I don't care what you're girlfriend or boyfriend says, they want and EXPECT you to acknowledge today.
DON'T ask your lover to spend big; it kind of make you seems like a tool.
DON'T let disappointment in a gift (or lack thereof) ruin the fact that today should be a celebration of what you share.

DO let your significant other know what your expectations are. If you want flowers, ask.
DO remember that today is NOT just about gifts, it's about love.
& if all else fails, just give Love.
I don't know a single girl who'd be disapointed to get a love letter/email (NO TEXTS) except selfish, immature little brats.

If you're Single:
DO remember that today is about love & love extends to all people. Furthermore, Love is easily demonstrated in the simplest ways.Today, I bought a vintage San Antonio Fiesta drinking glass for my brother from a thrift shop. He liked it a lot.
DO call, text, or email those who mean the most to you; one of my best friends sent me the funniest, greatest card for Valentine's day & it made me super happy. Also at lunch, my sweet friend, Prince bought chocolate covered strawberries for me and Krusty (another one of our friends) to share. What a doll. :)
DO treat yourself like you'd treat a lover today. Well, within limits.
-->When I'm in a relationship and in love, I wake up every morning with a single minded determination to do one thing that would make that person happy. If Whitney Houston was ever right about anything, it was that loving yourself is the greatest love of all. I actually don't even know if she said that but I seem to recall something similar...maybe. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I think that today of all days, you should celebrate being in love with yourself. Do whatever it is that makes you happy. Today, I thrifted and bought a miniature orchid (which I gave away, but still) and a set of gorgeous dishes with cherry blossoms printed on them. And also a vintage milk bottle that I plan to use as a vase.

I'm getting off course but you know...
love yourself, man.

Love yourself.

So like yeah.

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