Friday, July 15, 2011

You give me the kind of feelings only itch creams can cure.

I am no good at being someone's romantic interest.
For the following reasons:
I am easily embarrassed & don't respond to compliments well;
I am bathroom shy;
My body rebels against physical affection.

Case(s) in point:
The past two weekends I've spent with Solo, I've responded to nearly every compliment he gives me either by repeating it back to him or saying, "shut up."
There have been more occasions than I can count where I've nearly exploded from lack of peeing only to find that when I actually do excuse myself to the restroom, I spend the first 5 minutes hoping the faucet will drown out the sound of my pee and trying not to take way too long.
And finally, I break out into hives when Solo touches me. There's a slight possibility that I'm allergic to him.

& by slight I mean that I am definitely allergic to him.
Getting out of bed in the morning after sleeping beside Solo all night, I started to notice that my arms & legs had little itchy bumps all over. I didn't immediately think that I was allergic to him, though, until after our second visit when I realized that when we're away from each other, I don't have these rashes.

"...I think I'm allergic to you," I joked in between scratching my elbow and calves.
"Aww, don't be allergic to me!"
"Haha, maybe it's not you. Maybe I'm allergic to the detergent you use or your cologne."

Or maybe it's his lotion. Actually, there's like a 60% chance it's his lotion.
I know this because a very sweet gesture where he offered to give me a back massage (using the culprit lotion) turned into a very itchy, and whiny (on my part), evening that eventually ended in a trip to CVS pharmacy and a second massage where he was forced at knife point to rub mint scented itch cream all over my entire body.

& they say romance is dead.

As a matter of fact, I'd like to say that nothing really spells out "amour" quite like your partner still letting you be little spoon when you smell like an old lady with arthritis and are covered in blotchy, red patches of skin.

This photo isn't really relevant to any part of this post except where I metioned spooning in that last paragraph. But come on, it's adorable. 

Needless to say, I think Solo might be a keeper.


  1. Wow do you know how many ads there are for various eczema cremes on this thing now? It's ridiculous!