Wednesday, August 3, 2011

TMFFS: Chronicles of the lonely & conflicted.

The updates of an obese & physically disabled young lady who happens to be a  facebook friend of mine: *

1:00 pm
Does anyone know what 69 stands for? I know it's something sexy but what is it?

1:59 pm
OK, 69 means simultaneous oral s*x. So is it where TWO girls are like licking each other's p*ssy's OR where a woman is sucking a guy's d*ck while he is licking/sucking her p*ssy? I done sucked a d*ck, but no guy has ever sucked/licked my p*ssy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(2:15 pm, lonely friend likes the Lucky Charms facebook page)

2:27 pm
I don't care what anyone thinks, but I do know I'm magically delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Same friend comments on her own status update:
I kiss really yummy & down there tastes good as well all though I've never got that done yet!!!!!!!!!!!)

2:50 pm (friend takes facebook quiz on song lyrics. Result comes back: "YOU SUCK!")
friend's result to quiz result:
Egh I only suck d*cks so I don't suck ya'll!

3:09 pm
I just joined myYearbook!!!!!!!!!!!

4:56 pm

Man this one guy on myYearbook said he just wanted to get into my pretty P*SSY!!!!!!!! I just can't believe that!!!! Man OOOOHHHH WEE!!!!!!!!!

-->Friend of Friend responds (5:12 pm): ok, he just sounds like a perve!
Friend responds (6:47 pm): I know & he done did it!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I feel horable for dat stupid mistake that happened...............

7:32 pm:
Well, there's another guy coming to my house. Hope my grandparents to scare him awat!
(My guess is over-enthusiasm lead to this poor spelling. Translation: Hope my grandparents don't scare him away.)

7:36 pm:
Ugh, I feel nasty from what I just did!!!!!!!!!
-->Friend of Friend responds: ?
Friend responds: Egh what I did is what I just did!

7:42 pm: 
Well I wanna let everyone know that I'm locked up in all times until I'm really Married 4 real!!!! So no more one time sessions or nothing like that at all!!!! I been there & done that & honestly don't wanna go back to that!!!!!!!!!!
--> Friend of Friend responds: Lets not go backwards and move go girl!!!
Friend responds: I know, but it's like now adays guys just wanna f*ck u or get some suckin acctution done there & that's all!!!! I'm not a darn peice of trash!!!!!!!!!!
-->FoF responds: Well, chock it to experience and the next time, if you don't know them then pass on the invite, know someone well and your heart will take it from there..
Friend responds: ur so rite!!!! i just need 2 take my time all though it's HARD 4 me to do that!!!

7:55 pm
Well turns out he does want to meet my Grandparents!!!! Well if it turns out bad I'll come back & tell u how it went out!!!!
(Friend responds to own status update, 8:12 pm: Well it won't be 2nite, but maybe 2morrow nite or soon cuz my Grandparents r bout 2 go 2 their room & I think he caught up to with something!!!!)

8:27 pm: 
Oh lord dat dude wanna go f*ck, but as bad as I want to 1.) I'm on my period & 2.) I not goin 2 do that til I get married 4 real!!!!
(Friend comments on own status update, 8:34 pm:
What do y'all think???? Or should i just go get & go back on those birth control pills????
& again at 8:50 pm:
Oh lord i not even tired & i should really go get some sleep!!!! )

11:00 pm (gets horoscope online, in response to horoscope post:
[in response to her own response: Now be honest with me!
-->FoF responds: Here is HONEST: Stop worrying about sex, yes we all have needs but; love will come to you when your ready..If you keep pushing yourself because you want it, your gonna end up getting used, abused and hurt...If you want to put energy into something than put it into yourself... The more private stuff u post the more perveted and gross guys will draw attention to you...Keep the personal sex drive to yourself, thats how they find you... WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED or HAD HAPPENED if your grandparents did not want to meet him...Your human I get it, you have needs I get that too, but there are too many wack jobs out there, and if you don't know them, don't be going off with them... Talk yo guys but be discreet...
Friend responds: Ur so right!!!! I should just wait til I'm married for real then da sexual business will happen then even though i feel h*rny as heck right now....but it just needs to go away & i just can't wait til I'm really married 4 dat business 2 get done.] )

11:13 pm
I lost da virginity when I was 19.

11:19 pm
 I do know that I do messed up scince I was 19, but 4rm now on I'm just goin 2 stay away 4rm any kind of sexual stuff....So I do feel sorry 4 that one guy that I meet & wanted 2 do that to me!!!!!!!!!

...I think this stream of posts shows that there are those among us who, even if given an entire bag of fucks, would not give one. 

* Unlike most TMFFS posts, this post had to be edited down for explicit content (and also because she actually had even MORE status updates in this 10 hour span). Not because I don't think you guys are mature enough, but mostly because I fear google adsense will start adding crazy ads to this post based on the content. & also, the traffic I get from google is already weird enough. 


  1. I can't imagine facebooking all of that. Wow.

    Love 4rm Lexa xP

  2. I think the craziest part to me is that anyone could be so lonely. All of these posts are just cries for attention & this person doesn't care to learn the difference between the right kind of attention and...the wrong kind.