Thursday, September 1, 2011

September

I am pretty sure I'm an ass hole.

& before I go any further, happy September 1st.
I thought today was actually August 31 so it's like I've time travelled to a future where things still suck as much as they did yesterday.
My mom once told me that as you get older, it seems like you turn a corner & the whole year has gone by. In my own case, this is a truth I've come to accept but realizing that today is the first day of the ninth month of this year is daunting. What the fuck happened to 2011?

But anyway, back to the topic of being an ass hole.
I hold this truth about myself to be self evident because as I type, I'm sitting alone in one of the very few rooms in our school's law library reserved for group study. I also had my head down for the better part of the last hour. When people walked by the study room I was napping in and lingered in the window, I'd lift my head just long enough to roll my eyes and then lay back down.
One student walked past this room twice and stopped by my window both times. The second time I laughed at her.

I also know I'm a jerk because I mentally participate in other people's conversations when I think they're funny. For example, this morning in my 8am course, the kid in the row in front of me kept sneezing.
The haggardly young woman sitting beside him kept saying "Bless you."

Because everyone in the class was on the verge of simultaneously stabbing themselves in the thigh with fine tip sharpies to stay awake, our professor gave us a 5 minute break.

Let me tell you readers, this young student is haggardly in every sense of the word. She looks like a living Cathy Comic Strip. Only she was wearing an old lady dress with ankle socks, sandals, & a bun that was held up with a pen. I'm not making this up people.

So anyway Cathy, as I've decided just now to call her, looks over at Sir Sneeze-A-Lot (I'm so good at names) & says, "Wow, you sneezed a lot today! ACK!*"
*Ok, the ACK wasn't there but I couldn't help myself after including the Cathy link.
& Sneeze-A-Lot is all, "I'm allergic to cats."
My brain was all, "Sucker punch to the ovaries! That hurt from all the way back here! *sigh*...It's far too early to get accused of being a cat lady."





Cathy responds, "I don't have a cat. Maybe it's my perfume?"

My brain, "Mmmm, cat scented. So sexual."


1 comment:

  1. Bahaha how unfortunate. To look like Cathy AND be accused of being a cat lady...for shame.

    Also, yeah, where the hell has 2011 gone and can I have my life back?

    ReplyDelete