I have been useless all day.
I've been at school but I've learned nothing. read nothing. done nothing but play on the internet.
The top button on my blouse keeps popping open & I spent the last 45 minutes making an elephant out of pipe cleaner.
I've been irreconcilably silly all day; posting random shit on my friends' facebooks & facebook creeping on strangers. That last part wasn't really part of that thought but I thought I'd throw it in (also, I used the words part & thought twice in that sentence).
Anyway, I asked Fatty a little while ago:
If guns don't kill people, people kill people
then do toasters not toast toast, toast toasts toast?
To which she responded, "you are so profound."
I thought her response was funnier than my joke.
I was absent once last week & Fatty text me to tell me,
"the guy who just got called on is named Mr. Taint & you missed it."
Earlier today, my friends told me I'm not "parent safe" by which they mean they wouldn't trust me to meet their parents.
They all know me so well.
I've been off my game so much lately. I keep starting posts and then tossing them out because they, like this post, are not that great. I need more funny things to happen to me soon.
Or more profound things. Whichever.
Please forgive me for not having my shit together.