I am in love with this month.
I spend all year thinking about October and I adore every second that I'm allowed to live while it's October.
I hope I die on November 1st (in the non-foreseeable future, obvi) because I love October that much.
I guess I've always been quirky.
I absolutely adore the macabre.
Bats, Ghosts, Monsters. <--Every year, I buy at least one thing that I'm going to keep in my house as decoration that's Halloween themed. I almost bought a plush little bat pillow from target the other day.
It's so cute, I might get it anyway. Just for fun.
Anyway. I was trying to trace back my love of this month.
I thought for a moment of watching Beetlejuice cartoons on Saturday mornings, or when I first saw the Nightmare before Christmas.
But after some deep consideration, I realized I've always loved October because:
I'm just going to come out & say--my family has from time to time been pretty fucked up.
To say my parents' marriage was, by any stretch of imagination, a happy one would be a LIE.
To say my brother & I were ever close before 2010 would be a LIE.
But we always came together in October.
To me, October is memories.
It's when my parents would turn our fold out couch into a bed and cover it in pillows and blankets and the four of us would curl up together in the dark and fall asleep watching scary movies.
It was my parents' matching cavemen costumes that they'd wear while they passed out candy in our front yard.
It was camping trips.
It was the one time every year when I'd get to spend the whole night with my big brother & we'd trick or treat.
It was candy apples & my dad taking me to the circus.
It was dumping out our candy onto the carpet and sorting through our treasures together. Mom & Dad would pick out the ones they wanted & my brother & I always shared.
It was when my mom would bake pumpkin pie. It was trying every year to bake pumpkin seeds but consistently failing.
In Germany, it was when we'd pick apples together and go to the farm far away to pick one big pumpkin to bring home & carve. I still remember falling in the mud every year because my boots would get stuck in the thick mess.
I could go on. But I think what I'm saying is that October was the one time every year when I could count on my family to be a family. & I love that.
To this day, I still get excited when grocers put out their big bins full of pumpkins. Or when I catch the scent of pumpkin pie scented candles at department stores.
I just get overly enthusiastic about this time of the year, & I hope you'll forgive the next 25 days of me rambling about haunted houses and scary movies and scary television shows and blah! I love October!
But I've loved October even before then