Monday, November 7, 2011

Rant: No Shame November

For those of you who have a twitter or are friends with hipsters (whatever, I'm not here to judge), you may recognize the title of this post as a play on No Shave November; a Western World movement where men let their facial hair get luxurious and unruly and which I'm sure my boyfriend will use as an excuse not to get rid of his gawddamned high top.

Wow, that sentence was long.

Anyway. Today I had a semi-shitty day
(I'm getting back to that No Shame November thing in a minute, if you'll bear with me).

I had to leave my weekend with Solo to return to reality. Or something like it.

On my way back, I almost got into two separate accidents.
The first: The car in front of me on the highway is going ridiculously slow, I check my blind spot to switch lanes, look back in front of me & the car ahead of me has slammed on their breaks (for no reason, it seemed). I come within what seemed a mere inch of hitting them but pull into the shoulder lane instead, just in time.

The second: I notice a car full of teenage boys all with shaved heads coming up fast behind me. Before I can accelerate, they pull out from my lane. I relax. Though the lane they are in is clear, the crazy fucks switch back into my lane. They pull up so close to my car that I have to break to not hit them. I honk. The boy in the left hand back window seat flicks me off. The boy on the right hand back window seat climbs out of the car, sitting on the window ledge, and flicks me off while leaning on the top of the car. I laugh. The kid on the right keeps flicking me off. I flick him off. Their car pulls into the lane to my right, slows to my speed and rolls down the driver window. The kid in the passenger seat points his rifle at me. I shrug (not because I wasn't actually afraid because seriously, car full of white kids all with shaved heads, my first thought was skin heads, & that's some frightening shit to me, but because it was just my first reaction). Anyway, they exit a couple of yards later.


Way to fucking go, America. Our future looks bright.
Just when I was starting to think that the world needs guns to protect ourselves from the crazy fucks who drive their car through a Luby's and shoot everyone there, I'm reminded that we wouldn't need guns to protect ourselves if crazy fucks weren't allowed to get guns in the first place.

Then I came home & there was a cockroach in my bathroom. & you guys know how much I hate cockroaches.


& to top everything off, I ordered a blizzard from dairy queen on my drive back & only the top quarter was actually flavored, the other three fourths was just vanilla. What kind of shit is that???

I've honestly gotten way off topic.

I mean for this post to sort of a prologue for things to come.
The next few posts I'm about to write are (loosely) about racism, heartbreak, and constitutional rights.

The fact that I'm tackling such heavy topics makes me uncomfortable & is largely the reason why I haven't published in a little while (that, and laziness).
The reason I'm calling this month, No Shame November, is because I'll probably say things that will make me unpopular. I can live with that.
Don't worry, readers, I'm not planning on taking my blog in a new direction despite the fact that my November line up seems bleak. I'm just having a harder time coming up with dick jokes.


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