Me: That lady's kind of weird. Sometimes I see her out here--it's like during the day, she just stands in front of our building and looks up and the sky and then stumbles around for a while before going back into her apartment.
Ray: *angrily* Fucking old crone.
Me: *laughs* what?
Ray: *even angrier* GOD. Sometimes I just wanna go in there and kill her myself.
Me: Geez.What's wrong with you?
Ray: LOOK AT HER APARTMENT! LOOK AT IT! There's nothing in there but her dining room table, a couple of fucking boxes stacked on top of each other, and that fucking Marilyn Monroe poster.
Me: *looks over into woman's window. assesses that he is correct* Haha, so?
Ray: So? Could she be any lonelier? Or older? What right do you have to not have any furniture but a lawn table in your dining room??? And then, every time I walk by here it's like she's just sitting in her apartment, with all the lights on and windows open, eating porridge. AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY. EATING PORRIDGE!
Ray: I imagine she's eating porridge. & it's cold. She's so pale and her hair is so white; she's practically camouflaged into the blandness of her apartment. It's like half the time, you don't even know if she's in there.
Me: I don't think people call it porridge anymore.
Ray: & she knows we can all see her. Eating porridge in her empty apartment all day.
Me: I don't know. She does some creepy stuff; every time I walk Shakespeare and I come by her place, she's pacing the hallway of her apartment and babbling to herself...sometimes it looks like she's pulling out her hair as she paces.
Ray: Oatmeal. I mean I guess it's good for your colon but I swear to God, seeing her just makes me wanna *pretends to strangle imaginary person* aghhhh!
Me: Yeah, oatmeal has a lot of fiber...
you've really let this derail you...like to an unhealthy extent.
*Elderly resident slowly looks up from her card game and over in our direction. It is then we realize how long we've been standing outside her apartment*
*Ray smiles and waves politely. I shamefully look down at the sidewalk*
Me: Oh my God, I'm uncomfortable. Let's go.
Ray: *climbing up stairs* stupid Marilyn Monroe poster.