So...a couple of weeks ago, Texas people & hipsters, you may or may not have noticed that your social networking feeds were full of statements like this:
Whoo! I'm so drunk right now! Was that a camel? #sxsw
OMG, I just had breakfast tacos with the entire cast of Casa de mi Padre! SxSW rocks!
The violin monster just threw a LIVE jelly fish at me, luckily a homeless man who was pissing himself walked by right at that moment! Austin is weird yet wonderful!
God, I hate this time of the year. All these hipsters filling up the seats at my favorite obscure vegan custard shop. Fuck SxSW & please don't move here, out of towners.
At any rate, South by South West happened & I was there for parts of it & it didn't suck.
I got to spend some quality time with Solo & Darlene & watch Solo perform his first SxSW set.
I got to have some really good donuts in Roundrock.
& I invented a new game! It's called hipster, homeless, zombie.
If there's anything Austin has a lot of, it's breakfast tacos, homeless people, and hipsters.
SxSW allows these three things to get together with music, film, and free alcohol. It's a fucking party.
& while I was standing around on the street, I realized the distance between hipster to homeless person is just a matter of dirty beards and mental illness. The distance from homeless to zombie is really only a matter of life or re-animated death.
So basically you can only play this game if you're a little drunk, otherwise it's more than a little insensitive.
The best rule for playing is that it's almost never a zombie.
That leaves you with homeless person or hipster;
at first it may be hard to tell the difference. Common ground between the two include; dreadlocks, beards, tattered clothing, many layers of clothing, smoking pot in public, mustaches on women, fanny packs.
is it talking to itself? Does it stop and give you advice about putting your beer in the front basket of your rental bike? Is it barefoot? Homeless.
is it wearing wayfarers? are the tattered clothes or layered clothes tattered and/or layered ironically (see also: vintage)? Is it wearing TOMS? if you listen in on its conversation and it's trying to out-obscure the group of people it's with, it's definitely a hipster.
Now, go forth & play!