Wednesday, May 22, 2013

High resolution

One of my favorite twitter personalities, JennyJohnsonHi5, once wrote something to the effect of:
"The world would be a better place if everyone sounded exactly the way they do when their significant other imitates them during an argument."
& of course, that's not exactly it because I wrote is far more than 140 characters but, it's the essence.

For nearly two years (admittedly, the last few months have been a ping-pong of on and off) I've dated someone who nails it, every time, when he parodies me.
& I have to be honest & say that this is part of the magic.

Maybe it's vain that what I love most about Solo and I is that he can show me myself.
I've never, until this relationship, dated someone who I feel actually understood me. I came close once, and when we broke up, I realized this wasn't someone who understood me or someone that I organically meshed with, but rather someone who felt that they had to be like me and share my interests to make things work. After that relationship ended, he said to me that I would have a hard time finding a partner who would accept me as I am.
Although I understand that this was said to hurt me and to make me feel afraid of leaving that relationship, I have also come to recognize that in some ways this is true. To be with someone who loves the person you are, as you are, is a rarity.

Elizabeth Gilbert once wrote that a soul mate is someone who holds up a mirror to your soul and shows you who you are. She also suggests that we aren't necessarily meant to be with these people forever, that we can't handle that kind of truth.
I can say that the image Solo has held up to me isn't always flattering, but often times it's things I needed to see & address. Lies I'd told to myself about who I am, that I couldn't ignore anymore if I actually wanted to be the kind of person I think myself to be.

I don't know if Solo's my soul mate, but I know I've changed for the better because of and through our relationship.
I don't know we'll be together forever or for another week (a couple of hours?), but I feel privileged to have dated someone who sees me clearly, who accepts me without trying to change the person I am, and who can be himself with me.

He is someone who makes me laugh; someone who pushes me; and someone who sometimes hates the movies I watch but will endure them, anyway. & for this experience, I am grateful.

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