Wednesday, May 22, 2013

the most important part

It's sort of a travesty: I've been keeping memos to myself about funny things that were happening all this time, but not writing about them here out of laziness and weariness. But mostly laziness.

A few months ago, or 109 days ago as my phone says, I wrote down a memo to myself about a night where Krusty, Gaga, & I went out for first Friday. First Friday, so named because it's held every first Friday of each month, is kind of like walking around a museum drunk. The San Antonio Warehouse District opens up its doors to artists and winos and we come together to drunkenly awe at and sell some art.

On this particular evening, Gaga, Krusty, and I were looking at the selected photos from a local photographer. We were looking at the artist's collection of floral photos and came upon a large close up of an orchid. The title of this photo was, "the feminine mystique."



Gaga: Why is it named that? Because women are pretty like flowers? I'm pretty like a flower.
(bare in mind that Gaga is man who also happens to be a raging homosexual).

Me: That you are.

Gaga: Thank you!

Me: You really want to know why?

Gaga: Is it gross?

Me: It's because it looks like a vagina. I feel okay saying that since this is probably the closest you'll ever get to seeing one.

Gaga: No. That's a lie. It doesn't look like a vagina.

Krusty: No really, that's why.

Me: Haven't you heard of Georgia O'Keeffe? She has collections of paintings that are up close paintings of flowers that actually look like vaginas.

Gaga: This is crazy. If it looks like a vagina, then what's that? (At this point, Gaga pointed to the little nob sticking out between the petals)

Me: That, THAT is the most important part.

*& here, our conversation was cut short because I suddenly became aware that several strangers were standing behind us and listening*

Krusty: We can't take you anywhere.

Me: Sorry, everybody.

Stranger: No, that was very solid advice.

-------

Later on, after he'd had several drinks, Krusty and I balanced Gaga between our shoulders and towards the parking lot.

Gaga: you know what? It's so important for us to spend time together. You know why? YOLO. It's true, It's true: yolo.

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHA this is fantastic. I love when you write about exchanges with your friends because they are literally comic gold. Again, I would definitely make your life into a TV show if I could.

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