Wednesday, December 4, 2013

26.5

"See no one told you life was gonna be this way;
your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like we're always stuck in second gear,
when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year."
My new boss reminds me a lot of Chandler Bing.
I actually told him so & he did his impression of Chandler Bing;
"Could I BE anymore like Chandler *Bing!*?"

Which was pretty great.

So, in thinking about Friends I realized how much I relate to the theme song.
I've been 26 for half a year now & in this time, I failed my bar exam; someone I had a very strong relationship with passed away; my first job didn't pan out; I'm working at a job I NEVER, in a million years, would have guessed would be my job; relationshipS (extra emphasis on the plurality!) have fizzled out almost as quickly as they sparked. 

& today, driving home, I started to feel sorry for myself.

Actually, that's a lie.
I HAVE been feeling sorry for myself. 
But today, while driving home from work, I started to fixate on it. 

& that's another thing; Austin is too small for all the people living here. 
To state the obvious, rush hour is a cluster fuck.

After sitting in traffic for 45 minutes and not being any nearer to my side of town, I decided to pull over at Lady Bird Lake-a trail and park near down town Austin that I pass everyday on my commute.
I got out and walked the trail for a little bit and started to think critically about my situation.

Where I am right now is sort of not great.
But that's not anything new. 
People my age have been going through not-so-great times since...forever. 
Or at least since Friends was on T.V.--the whole show is about people my age trying to sort their shit out. 

& then, I realized something else.
There are definitely things about where I am in life that are shitty.
But, there's also so much to be grateful for.
I've always wanted to live in Austin and I'm here now.
I have a job I enjoy and friends and family who make me laugh and feel loved everyday.
I'm reasonably healthy.
I've had the privilege of being educated and having parents who not only took an interest in my academic success, but also went to great cost to ensure that I could go to college and law school. 

& so, I realized that pulling over to admire Lady Bird Lake also serves as a metaphor for the way I want live.
I made a choice not to just sit in traffic and fester in self-pity, but to pull over and be grateful for all that I have and be happy with it. I made a choice not to dwell on that which makes me unhappy or isn't perfect about my life right now. 

& because I did, I got to see this:




2 comments:

  1. I love you, and this is beautiful.

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  2. Beautiful pictures! And also, beautiful post =] Sometimes, knowing that you're not alone in trying to figure your life out is not the best help. But being able to make the decision, even the tiny one, to make a pit stop and think about everything you have and how far you've come is the best thing for you. The hypothetical you, not you specifically, Although, specifically, it looks like that worked too. <3

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